I hate not knowing if there will be anything in my size in stock and I hate always going straight for the back of the rack. I find it so embarassing and I feel like everyone is watching me, I even try to hide the tags and the hanger labels as I go through the checkout. I don’t like asking at the counter if they stock things in my size and I don’t like telling other people what size I am when they offer to get things for me…

I know inside that it is obvious from what I look like that Im not thin but I just feel so humiliated all the time and like people are all watching me thinking how ugly I am and wondering how my husband manages to sleep with me. I am so ashamed : ( I just took a leap of faith and asked my mother-in-law to buy and send me some board shorts (so I can go swimming) and I know that these shorts will be in the hands of her, my brother-in-law and his father-in-law which means they will ALL see what size I am (18-20 Australian) and I dunno, I just hate the thought of it Are you embarassed to or is it just me? And does anyone know how to stop feeling this way? I WANT to lose the weight (40 kilos from my pregnancy 2 years ago) but my sad downer attitude is getting in the way, along with my tendancy to eat a lot and rarely exercise. I just have no motivation, I just keep getting lower and lower.

You know what I have honestly come to realise (and this isn’t just to make you feel good it is truth)…no matter what a woman looks like it is her “spunk”, demeanor, and/or attitude that people draw their conclusions from…seriously…think about it…baby big is IN….get on board

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